Yesterday was one of the hardest days of my life. I had to say goodbye to someone who meant a lot to me.
Rewind to a few weeks ago...
I work at a small grocery store, so I get to know regular customers and vendors. One day a coworker came up to me and said that one of our vendors had a crush on me. I remember thinking, "Really? Me? Why would anyone have a crush on me?" Then just went on with my day. Soon he sent me a friend request on Facebook happened and I accepted it. Not long after that my coworker said that he was going to ask me to breakfast. It took a couple weeks (and a found out later a lot of encouragement from two coworkers) but he asked and I accepted. We made plans to meet at a restaurant on Wednesday (the 19th) morning.
The sun was shining and the leaves were at their peak. I did my makeup and hair nice and drove over to the restaurant. I walked in and soon spotted him waiting for me. We had a lovely breakfast talking about our families and interests. There was sometime before I had to go to work, so I took him to a couple of my favorite spots along the river.
I had the best time with him. He made me feel completely at ease, like we had known each other forever. He was quite surprised when I told him that he was the first guy to ask me out. He told me how nervous he was to ask me to breakfast and how nervous he was the whole drive up until I walked in the door.
I went to work and he came into the store and talked with a coworker (one who had encouraged him to ask me to breakfast). She told me when he'd left that he was really excited about the day. I was too. I messaged him that night and thanked him for a great morning. We talked for a while then I went to sleep.
I got up early the next morning and went to dog sit for a friend for the morning. When I got home in the early afternoon, my coworker pulled in behind me. She told me that he was a no call no show at work this morning. This was not like him and he had told me that he was going to be at the store early because he had a meeting in the afternoon. Then she told me that he had been killed in a car accident. He was one of three people killed in the car. We stood in my driveway for a while crying and hugging. Then I went in to tell my mom who held me tight.
I went to work that afternoon and it was really rough. That was the last place where I had seen him and reminders of him were everywhere. A lot of times I get teary eyed looking at a loaf of bread. But I made it through. I had to work really hard at distracting my self and still do.
Distraction was working most of the time. Until yesterday when I had to face reality head on. The two coworkers and I traveled together to the funeral. I was very grateful to have them there with me. I meet his family and his best friend. There were many hugs and tears. His friend told me that I was the topic of their last conversation. The service was wonderful. A celebration of a selfless compassionate life. He had such an impact on so many lives that we should learn from.
I had let my mind dream about what could be with him. Would we fall in love? What if he was the one? Where could we go for our next adventure?
Now I am left with what it is. I won't see him on this earth again. But I rest in God's love and know that my broken heart will heal one day.
-Court
